This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
They have beer where we have blood.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
