u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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