It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
