I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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