hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
