its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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