OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
