she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
