The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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