Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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