Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
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I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
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Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
that may or may not have been my penis.
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