he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
