She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
