Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
