I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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