is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
