Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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