hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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