bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Houston, we have a squirter
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize