**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
