that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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