i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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