Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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