we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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