girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize