thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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