I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The adults are the big ones right?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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