I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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