There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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