Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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