Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
