Screwed.edu
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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