OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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