so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
