Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
