Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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