Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
