I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
