I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there