did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high