Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....