Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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