im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
