Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize