I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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