How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize