i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
