im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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