Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
