so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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