i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
