I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
These tits shall not be calmed
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
