Got a toothbrush?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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