...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
