Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
