Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
